Call off the bloodhounds... Here I am

Yes, it's true. I am still around. I know, I know. I said I would get back to posting a long time ago, but alas - Life still tends to get in the way. I have had a rollercoaster ride the last couple months. Work was crazy for so long, then everything came to a screeching halt in mid-December.



We took a family vacation to the mecca of mouse, Disney World, the week before Christmas. Yes, I actually took a vacation, left work & everything else behind for over a week, and relaxed in sunny Florida. It was a wonderful trip with my wife & daughter, as well as my wife's family. We had a wonderful time, and that was our Christmas present this year. Made shopping pretty easy!



I was off for Christmas, and we spent Christmas day with my family. That, also, was wonderful and had a great day. I went back to work after being off for 2 weeks the day after Christmas. I promptly did something stupid while cutting someone out of a car and hurt my shoulder. That sent me home for over a week, causing me to miss several shifts at both the fire department & EMS. I had to deal with a slew of doctors visits, physical therapy and paperwork to get cleared to return to duty. I finally got cleared to go back to work a few days after New Years. I worked 2 shifts at the fire department, came off shift one morning & went to work @ EMS.



I made it through about 4 hours when I re-injured my shoulder and was again sent home after dealing with the usual myriad of forms & doctors visits surrounding a work-related injury, again. I was out for roughly another week. EMS deamed my injury was not the result of an accidental on-the-job injury, and denied to pay workers comp to cover any further medical expenses. The fire department stated since I was treated for the initial injury, cleared by the doctor & had returned to work, it was not a re-injury but a new injury.



I was stuck between a rock & a hard place. The doctor I saw after the second injury felt I had possibly torn a tendon in my shoulder and wanted me to have an MRI. Now that it was not covered by workers comp, I was left to find a way to get the MRI on my own with my insurance - not a good opton. Way too much out of pocket expense. So, I went back to see the doctor that had seen me after the original injury. Since He was familiar with what I had done, and I wanted to see what he felt I might have done to it agian.



Mind you, the second doc had my arm in a sling, telling me not to use it, because I would do more damage to it if I had in fact torn a tendon. After seeing the original doc again and laying it out for him, he checked my shoulder out. Once he got my arm out of the sling & had me move it, he quickly realized I had not torn anything otherwise I would not have had the range of motion, despite some discomfort, that I had. He told me to start using the arm again, gave me some steroids to ease the inflamation I had to my rotator cuff that was causing the pain, and told me I could go back to work soon as I felt up to it. I was ready right then! I was so sick of beig at home, not able to do my job. He had me on light duty for a couple more days then cleared me to finally go back to work.



That's the story! I winding epic, full of twists, turns, pitfalls & boredome. So, now, I'm back to work. The shoulder seems ok, and no trouble so far. Knock on wood.

Did you know?

Did you know it is possible to eat a McDonald's Quarter Pounder with Cheese in 4 bites in under 60 seconds?

Did you know it was possible to eat a large fry while driving at a high reate of speed with the lights & sirens on?

Did you know that 1 milligram of Narcan is enough to wake up a 200 pound man who has been using cocaine, marijuana, oxycodone and xanax - and that he will be fighting mad?

Did you know that the average 12-hour EMS shift lasts 13.5 hours?

Did you know it is possible to run 8 EMS calls in 6 hours, before you ever get a chance to have a cup of coffee or eat breakfast?

Did you know that the human body can function for 36 hours at work with only 3 hours of broken sleep?

Did you know that a fireman wears an additional 50 pounds of gear and equipment to go into a burning building?

Time constraints

I know I have been gone a lot lately. Sorry about my un-announced hiatus from the Blogosphere. I sort have been busy, and a lot has happened in my life that I still want to write about, but time has been short. I will return shortly and get back in the swing of things. Hope everyone is well.

Betrayal

No good deed goes unpunished. That's what they say, right? In the movie "The Generals Daughter", the question is posed by John Travolta's charachter - "What's worse than murder? What, She cheated, she lied?" By the end of the movie, it is exposed that betrayal is worse than murder. I tend to agree.

I was finally told the name of the person that went to the fire chief and initiated this entire ordeal.... or should I say names of the persons. Turned out it was 3 people, not one. Two of the three did not surprise me. One is a well known snake-in-the-grass, the other I never really trusted. The third however - well, let's just say I was shocked. This man was at my wedding for crying out loud.

I thought that was it. Nope - wrong again. As I had said earlier - the BC requested that several people that I work with and have driven for over the last several months, write statements to describe my driving ability and style. Most of them weren't a problem. A few, including guys on my company that I work with everyday - weren't as kind. They wrote what they felt were not negative statements, but included specific concerns, complaints or incidents - and that is what the brass zeroed in on. Anyone that drives emergency vehicles for an extended period of time will have close calls or do something that is not liked - it's the nature of the business.

Anyway, I wasn't done being dissapointed yet. Over the past several weeks, I was not me. I was in a foul mood. Between worrying about the legal troubles, the investigation, the concern over a fellow firefighter going behind my back to the chief - and then some personal issues at home - I was in a deep bllue funk. As the BC put it, I had a negative attitude and it was contagious. It turned out, that several of the guys on my company went to the BC and told him they wanted me moved. In essence - because I was having personal issues, I was voted off the island.

Yup - I was done. Guys I called brother, had been out drinking with, had been to my house, had taken vacations with - had betrayed me and hung me out to dry. Rather than ask me what was wrong (as if it was a big shock or surprise) and see what they could do to help, they screwed me over and I got transferred. Screw 'em. They thought I had a bad attitude before - yeah, right. I'm supposed to smile & whistle a happy tune now. Despite being labled because of the sequece of events that I really didn't have control over. Nice, huh? So, I asked for a meeting with the chief - that was well over a week ago. Have not heard back - nothing, not a peep.

That's a big part of why I have not posted in a while - I have been too upset and angry to sit and talk about it. Now, I don't give a shit anymore. They have won - I give up. I show up each day, put in my hours and go home - just like everyone else. I no longer go out of my way to do extra. I no longer try and make it better. I no longer do extra work to better the job, the company or the city. Screw 'em. They didn't want to listen to me before - not going to give them a chance to listen to me now.

Round 2

First of all, I know of the problem with my blog images not showing up. Not sure why. The file hosting site I use is to blame it would appear. I have contacted them and am waiting on an answer.

After my legal victory with the D.A. and the court system, I was riding high. That did not last long. The city administration, specifically the Fire Chief, has been dragging this whole thing out. I finally had enough on Friday morning. I was getting ready to leave work for my days off, and the situation had still not been resolved, nor had anyone come back to talk to me about it any more. So, I got a bit pissy as I was leaving work said I was going to City Hall and take my grievance to the next level.

Here's the short version; within an hour and a half, I received a phone call telling me that the investigation was over, I was returned to driving status, and it was resolved. Amazing, huh? I had to threaten to take policy action then legal action before anything was done.

However, I still have not been provided the name of the person who made the allegations, or had any assurance that this will not appear in my personnel record. I also have not been given the written statements from all the people who had been interviewed about me.

So..... those of you that know anything about me, know that I am not about to walk away and let it go like this. Nope. Not me. I HAVE to continue on with this. I want the name of the prick who caused me all the trouble. I want them held accountable for their actions, to answer for what could easily be construed as slander in a court of law. After all, what prevents this person or anyone else from simply saying whatever they want about whoever they want without repercussions? To be honest, I really would rather this was all over and I didn't have to follow through with any of this - but morally, I simply don't see that I have a choice.

Victory

A victory of sorts! Yes, it would seem that the D.A. agreed with me and my lawyer. He has dropped the charges against me in the wreck. A wonderful 1st step. I am very happy and excited.

I am also cynical. Most of my fellow firefighters at work, won't know this. The news that I was in a wreck and cited in that wreck spread like wildfire (if you'll forgive the pun). This news, however, is less juicy. Therefore - I already know it will not be fodder for the rumor mill. I know that in most minds, I paid the lawyer to get me out of it and that I was still wrong. I know I will be looked at differently by some for the rest of my career.

When the wreck happened - I had people calling me within 15 minutes. Guys that were off-duty knew about it. Now - no one has called. No one cares, because this is anti-climactic. Sad, really. I guess it's true - bad news sells.

Nevertheless, I am happy with my legal victory. Now I will await the results of my moral victory of the brass at City Hall. I am confident I will be triumphant, even if no one knows about it.

Resentment

Well, my posts have become few and far between again. Life is just too hectic. I'm in the middle of a 16-day stretch of working without a day off. When I do have the time to sit & wrote, I'm usually too tired. Most times, when I have the time to write, I'm at work & don't have internet access that will allow me to get on and post.

So, the drama at work has actually gotten worse. I'm now not allowed to drive again. After driving 6 days in a row, the chief in his infinite wisdom revoked my driving status. This following the recommendation of the city attorney and an 'anonymous' complaint from a fellow fireman that I am supposedly unsafe. Hmmmm... been driving firetrucks for almost 20 years, 6 of them for this department, and this is the first accident I have been involved in - but I'm unsafe. Gotcha. In a move to question intelligence, I get punished without proof, based on a verbal accusation without basis. Nice. Not to fear, my lawyer has already been called, and the grievance with the Human Resources Dept and the City Council is already in the works. If that fails, then the lawyer gets to have a crack. Guilty until proven innocent.

Needless to say, I have been in a funk as of late. I have actually thrown my hands in the air at work yesterday and told them I no longer give a shit. Do what they want. I will show up, do my job as outlined, give 100% the entire time - but not one bit more than I have to. Maybe that is why I'm so drained. Pretty good deep blue funk. Or it could just be that I have been working everyday without a break, bouncing from fire to EMS and back again without a day off.

Did that today, went to EMS after coming off from the fire dept. I was beat to start, then we had some really bad storms roll through. We ran our asses off. I agreed to work today as a favor. I was supposed to be on a different medic unit, and my partner called out. I should have gone home. Nope - I agreed to work on another unit. Shoulda said no. Told them I needed to get off @ 6PM so I could go to the Squirt's first soccer practice of the year. Thanks to stupid people, doing stupid things, and calling 9-1-1 for stupid reasons, I was again late getting off and wound up missing the entire practice.

My personal life has to suffer, yet again, because some fucktard called 9-1-1 for the earache that's 3 weeks old, or the stubbed toe from last week, or the flu-like symptoms that have been going on for days. How much do I have to suffer, in the name of helping others, before I get to have a life? I talk to my wife in passing, or on the phone. We see each other occasionally now, because our schedules are opposite. I work and work and work, and still can't pay my bills. I see int he local paper that the city leaders are getting raises & bonuses - but I can't feed my family with 4 jobs. Ahhh.. public service. What's wrong with this picture? I'm beginning to resent those I am sworn to serve - because of stupidity and abuse of the system.

Update

So, been two weeks since I had my wreck. Went to the beach for the weekend afterit happened. I did a pretty good job of puttin git out of my mind while we were there. We really did have a good time, a very relaxing weekend. Even before that incident, I needed a weekend off and a weekend away. I was fried.



After I got back, I had to face reality again. First, I went back to work and was cleared to work - my drug test was clean. Big surprise there. Then I was cleared to go back to driving status. Really didn't want to - but I also knew I needed to get back on that proverbial horse and ride on. So, back to work, back to driving I went. Still no word from EMS if it will affect me there. No news is good news, I guess. Not going to push it and / or remind them. Maybe I slipped through the cracks - fine with me. Found out what I already knew - I'm on my own. The city and the department aren't backing me at all. I have to fight it alone. I talked with the local lawyer, and got some insight. I have a meeting with him Monday.



Found out today that the city attorney is reccomending to the fire chief that I be suspended from driving - supposedly to protect me from any further potential problems, incident or litigation. Whatever. Nothing official yet, it was told to me on the down-low. It violates policy. Not going to worry about it until it happens.



Othe than that - just hanging out. The wife started her new job, and so far she loves it. She's still learning, and it's stressful, but she's doing well. She's dispatching for our county fire, rescue & sheriff. I listen to her on the radio all day, and she's better than some of the veterans we have. She doesn't believe me when I tell her, but I know she is.


Been working just about everyday trying to make as much as I can. Of course, we're just as tight as everyone else in the country with the gas prices and the prices of everything else because of the gas. Now we have the added cost of the lawyer.

Alright - enough of that crap. It'll all work out. Starting to depress myself. I get Monday & Tuesday off. Looking forward to that. I have to go to con-ed Monday morning, then have that meeting Monday afternoon. Tuesday - I get to stay home and do zilch. Hang out with the Squirt alone Tuesday. That'll be cool.

Bad JuJu

Karma, fate, JuJu... call it what you want - I got a bad case of it today, and not in the good way. I was working at the fire department for another guy, he needed the shift off and I agreed to work for him. He's going to repay the favor next month when I need a day off. I didn't go so well.

He called me the other day to tell me that he was slated to go fill-in at another station for the day, and since I was working for him, that meant I had to go fill in at another station. Already, I wasn't thrilled. Then I found out I had to drive, and at that - one of the rescue trucks. One of the busiest companies in the city. Great.

So, I reluctantly packed up my gear and headed out this AM. I relieved the other guy working and put my gear on the rescue, checked the compartments real quick to see where everything was, then settled in for the shift. We ran the usual myriad of calls - nothing special.

Then we got dispatched to a house fire. Me and my partner hopped into the rescue and headed out. The 1st in engine reported heavy smoke was visible upon arrival. We continued on, and just before we got there, we were cancelled - they had the fire out. We headed back to the station. As we approached an intersection, I tried to stop. Key word being tried. I wasn't successful. The brakes went out on the truck and we couldn't stop. Luckily, the only car coming into the intersection was a cop, and he saw me and slowed down. I called the Battalion Chief & told him what happened, told him I was putting the truck out of service, and he advised me to take it right to the shop to be worked on. They couldn't get to it, so it would have to stay. We were going to have to ride on a reserve truck. We were picked up, taken to the reserve, and then back to the shop to get all our equipment off. After an hour and a half in the sun & the heat, we were done & headed for the station. The late afternoon thunder boomer came in - the rain was horrible. You couldn't see anything.

As we got close, we took a call to assist another engine. We were cancelled before we got there, and as I went to turn down the side street to go back to the station - I was involved in an accident. Depending on how you look at it, either I struck the car going through the intersection or the car going through the intersection struck us. Either way, I got a ticket, totaled his car, sent him & his son to the hospital and wrecked the fire truck. Shitty day, to say the least. And remember - I wasn't supposed to be working today.

I'm not done yet. I'm fighting the ticket. I had the turn signal, despite what the cop said and thinks. His witness was another cop, off-duty from another town. He said I didn't have the light. Yet, he was behind me in an unmarked patrol car - how could he see the light from behind a big ass fire truck? He's not listed on the report as a witness. No one else was in the intersection coming from the other way - so if he had the green light, why was there no other car from the other lane in the intersection hitting me? These questions and more will be brought up in court.

In the mean time, I was sent home tonight. I had to take a drug & alcohol test. My driving privileges at work have been revoked, and I can't return to work until the results from the tests come back. I also am facing the ticket & court costs. There is the possibility that the driver of the other car may sue the city & me as well. If the ticket isn't dropped, I will have an increase of my insurance, as well - and that I can't afford.

I was looking forward to a weekend away this weekend with the wife & kid and some of the guys from work down at the beach - I doubt I will enjoy myself now.

Damn bad juju.

Huh?

Holy crap, the last couple weeks have been busy. I have not had a great deal of free time. I have been working just about every day, going back and forth from one job to the other. I haven't had time to read blogs, let alone write anything.

Sorry gang - life got in the way. My wife got a new job. Hopefully, I will be able to ease up a bit once she is trained up and working a regular schedule.

Still nothing on the new job for me. Have not heard back from them. I am giving them until tomorrow - and if I have not gotten a phone call or e-mail, I'm calling them. I e-mailed the guys 2 weeks ago, with no answer. I heard through the grapevine that I was there top pick, but they never called. I know they had a meeting last night, and I thought maybe they were waiting for that to make their offer - but still no word. I hate waiting - patience is not one of my strong suits.